Profile

Attention, Earth-monkeys. I am Crypto-138 of the Furon Empire, also possibly Crypto-139 or higher as the situation needs it. That's right, ya damn dirty animals... I clone myself every time I get killed, so there's not a thing you can do to stop me invading your world! Actually, I'm already President of the United States AND a real pain in the side of the rest of the world, thanks to the conquering of two violent and funny video games. (I like to break my fourth wall too.) Now get in that pod, damn you! It's probing time...

***Unusual Traits***

This is for all of you not acquainted with the games that Crypto comes from. First... Cryptosporidium is from the "Destroy All Humans!" games for PS2, and is the property of Pandemic Studios. He's only here for the roleplaying in milliways_bar, and any party along the way, from which no profit whatsoever is being made. That being said...on with the traits!

Crypto bears a striking resemblance to the idea of the gray-skinned Roswell Alien, though he's a short and squat kind of evil bastard that loves to kick humans while they're down...or up...or whenever. This space-suited nutjob is the 138th clone of himself after years of many deaths by combat, accident, or even on purpose. Crypto is kind of like Jack Nicholson as a small, disturbing alien who glares at you with dark eyes, pulls out the death ray, and blasts you to bits while shouting "Die, monkeys!" at the top of his lungs. Crypto's suit is of a lighter gray than his skin, with a few alien designs on it, containing three notable features. First, there is 'The Package', which refers to the little compartment at the crotch-area containing the 'equipment' that Furons - up until now - have not had for a long time. The other two features are a solid-energy dome-helmet for operating in space, and a jetpack. He is also going to have the unfortunate trouble of being accompanied with several other clones of himself...which does not normally happen.

Furons derive power from both the mind and high technology. (It's a compensation move.) Crypto has a large assortment of weapons that are either deadly or antagonizing to humans (such as the Zap-O-Matic, Anal Probe, Disintegrator Ray, Disc-Locator, and so on). These are the weapons of a Furon soldier, wielded like a maniac. They pale in comparison to the abilities of his flying saucer, but that's his flying saucer. Crypto's Psychokinetic powers range from picking things up with his mind to temporary hypnotic suggestion to Holobobbing (which casts an image of who he's focused on over himself, thus appearing as they do instead of himself). He can also try to force his way into a human host in a body-snatching move, but that requires total domination of the host's mind, meaning that it's tricky to do since the host can resist his mental attacks.

At this time, we are post-game, having finished off the events of Destroy All Humans 2, leaving Crpyto on Earth, which is still ripe for the picking by the Furon Empire. Though the mothership is destroyed, Crypto still appears to rule against any Earthly force that challenges him, wisecracking the whole way. There's only a few people on his side right now, at least to the perspective of Crypto-138. The others...will pop in from different times and different situations, and all of them will find what's going on to just be deuced odd...

For the record, the exact Cryptosporidiums are Cryptos 138, 142, 154, 176, and 195.

Crypto-138 is just after clearing the second game.

Crypto-142 is farther into the future, at the completion of world domination.

Crypto-154 is a fugative during a civil war at the Furon Homeworld.

Crypto-176 sounds like he's had a run-in with Tagon's Toughs.

And Crypto-195 is leader of the special Furon detachment known as the 'Crypto-Corp'.

Each Cryptosporidium is armed to the teeth with the impressive arsenal from both games and is capable of breaking the Fourth Wall on his own. The weapons are played out thusly...

Zap-O-Matic - Standard Furon weapon, like a tesla-gun or something similar. It shocks the hell out of people and chain-lightnings off to several others at a time. It is definitely good for stunning-to-frying targets.

Disintegrator Ray - Not just one, but TWO plasma-firing ray guns, taken from both games. The first is the triple-shot model and the second is the double-shot anti-Blisk weapon. They're about equal in power.

Ion Detonator - The equivalent of a Furon grenade launcher. It fires off a projectile which explodes either after a set time or by remote detonation, creating a big explosion. This weapon is harmful to even Crypto.

Anal Probe - "All we want to do is eat your brains..." Furon Anal Probes are for scanning and pulling out human brains from their bodies so that the innate Furon DNA can be processed. Also used on Blisk Mutants.

Disc-Locator - It's a gun that fires an anti-gravity disc, one that's capable of picking up any object and making it fly around in random directions. The discs themselves are completely harmless, but not the directions they travel...

Meteor Strike - This glowing instrument targets sites and summons meteors from the sky to come crashing down upon it! However...it is not effective indoors. Milliways just gets THUNKed every time this thing goes off.

Burrow Beast - The Burrow Beast is something like a Graboid which is lured by this lure-launcher that Crypto has. The Beast can appear from the ground, even if the ground is metal or on a bridge...and is nearly-always deadly.

Gastro! - The janitor of the previous Mothership downloaded himself into an armed Holopod and is capable of being launched from a special gun. Each time he is launched, he fires rays at the enemy until power is depleted...and then explodes.